Sentinel Fan Fiction Page || Fanfic -- Missing Scenes Collection

Summary: Blair ponders Jim's fate. Spoilers for Secret.

missing scene from Secret
by Becky
June 1997

Blair jerked awake, his eyes flying open as he drew in a huge gasp of air. His heart pounded in his chest and he reclosed his eyes to focus on getting it to slow down. It was just a dream, Sandburg, nothing more. Jim is okay, he has to be. Opening his eyes again, he glanced toward the broken wood and glass doors of his room. The muted volume of the television drifted through them from the living room where Joel was sitting, keeping an eye on Blair. More like babysitting.

Finally, he sat up, running both hands through his hair, pushing it back before finding a band on the bedside table to put it into a ponytail. After Simon had sprung him from the holding cell, they'd gone back to the precinct. Blair had hoped to help, maybe burn some of the adrenaline running around in his system. But Simon had sent him home with Joel, telling him he was a 'protected witness' until further notice.

Once back at the loft, he had taken a shower to clean up, feeling pretty nasty after the bus and the holding cell. Still buzzing from the adrenaline high, he worked on straightening up the loft, starting with the lower area and then up to Jim's bedroom. After calling Jack Kelso, Blair had felt the lack of sleep catching up on him and had crashed in his room for a short nap.

Lot of good a nap did me if all I have are nightmares of Jim being dead.

The last word sent chills down Blair's spine and he shivered once at the utterly depressing thought of never talking to Jim again, of losing the best friend he'd ever had. It wasn't about the research anymore, not really anyway. He joked about book deals or movie deals a lot, but Blair was never truly serious about it. Jim's sentinel abilities fascinated and intrigued Blair and were a part of the strong connection between the two men, but their friendship had become more important in the time they'd known each other. The depth of feelings between them was not something they'd talked about much, but both knew it was there, lying beneath the surface, ready to show itself during moments of need or intensity.

His own words after the Peru trip floated back to him like an echo: "It's about friendship." In his own mind, those three words pretty much summed up what he felt. Jim had seemed content with his explanation and they'd gone on from there.

And now, if Jim was gone....

Oh, stop this, Sandburg! Jim isn't dead. You'd know if he was dead, somehow you'd know.

Closing his eyes, he took several deep breaths to relax and then opened them again. Instead of seeing the wall across from him, a blurry vision of a large black panther gazing calmly at him swam before his eyes. Jim's spirit guide. Oh, man, please, please, please don't tell me he's gone. I couldn't take that. He blinked to hopefully clear away the fuzziness, but the panther had vanished. Damn. Now what?

A voice, no, more like impressions and fleeting images, seemed to whisper to him from somewhere deep inside. It told him not to worry, that Jim was still alive, that he needed to continue to be strong, that even while apart the Sentinel drew some of his strength from his Guide's belief in him. And then, whatever it was, disappeared, leaving Blair alone, but with a new sense of optimism.

Shaking away his slight daze, Blair straightened. Man, I have got to get Jim to tell me more about this spirit guide of his. He took one last breath, pushing the last of his worries away. At least for now. Who knows about later. He looked over at the clock. Almost lunchtime. Joel is probably hungry and so am I. Afterwards, maybe I'll give Jack a call if he doesn't call me first. Maybe he'll have something we can use.

He stood and headed out the broken bedroom door, calling out, "Hey, Joel, you like chili...?"

- The End -